Publish And Be Damned

With Leveson about to report this week, and various papers starting to bleat that implementation of any recommendations will turn the UK into some sort of North Korean stasi-controlled state, and rumours that the PM will reject it anyway, here are some points to make:

1. This nonsense about that if these new rules came in, they would prevent reporting on a Jimmy Savile like situation. So that'll be why despite knowing it, not a single newspaper printed any stories whilst he was alive. But the BBC also knew about it, and didn't do anything either, so clearly it's their fault, obviously.

2. Speaking of television, it is tightly regulated, and as recent events have shown, if they do screw up, be it the BBC, ITV, Channel 4 or 5, Sky, CNN, QVC or The Ironing Channel, they are punished. As Sir Charlie Brooker said in 2008 (WARNING: Rude words ahead):

"If TV broadcast the kind of material you see in the press - if it paid women in lingerie to recount graphic celebrity fuck'n'tell stories, or shoved its cameras up the skirts of girls exiting taxis so viewers could wank to the sight of their knickers, or routinely broadcast grossly misleading and openly one-sided news reports designed to perpetuate fear and bigotry - if the box in the corner smeared that shit on its screen for 10 seconds a night, it'd generate a pile of complaints high enough to scrape the crust from the underside of Mars"

3. There is various whinging from the press that regulation will prevent stories like the MP's expenses scandals, Steven Lawrence's murderers being caught etc etc etc. No it won't. Those were examples of good investigative journalism and of course they will continue. What it is trying to prevent are the stories that the press know are outright lies.  The stories that are just blatantly intrusive. Case in point: The Mail last week ran a story with photos of Fiona Bruce walking her dog, with - SHOCK HORROR - no make up on. The whole tone of the story is "Blimey! Thought she was gorgeous, turns out it's all fake, and she's a dreadful old munter!", and saying that her appearance could be explained by saying "arguably she wasn't on air" ARGUABLY? I'm pretty damn sure that whilst she was walking her dog, she wasn't stopping passers by and telling them about the latest situation in Gaza. I mean, it's not as if every time say, Bruce Forsyth pops out to his local shop (which even he must do at some point), he's tap dancing down the street and then gives whoever serves him a cuddly toy.

4. As so magnificently illustrated on Have I Got News For You a few weeks ago, a stock in trade in certain parts of the press is the "all grown up" scenario, whereby (mostly) American teenage actresses and celebrities are pictured in certain ways with the accompanying stories calling attention over varying parts of their anatomy with a fair use of words "revealing" and "daring" and "lithe". Erm, in a word, ew. The Mail is of course the worst offender for this, but by no means the only one - there was of course the famous incident of the Daily Star slaughtering Chris Morris with regard to the paedophile episode of Brass Eye, when on the opposite page there was a picture of the 15 year old Charlotte Church (who was growing in the way 15 year old girls tend to do) with the headline "She's A Big Girl Now".

 And apart from anything else, think of this. Some of you have daughters. Some have been 14/15, some have that age to come, some may be that age now. As a parent, how would you feel if a picture of your daughter at that age was printed in a newspaper saying "My, she's not a little girl anymore" or similar so middle aged men can gawp at her? Exactly.

It's nothing new - we've gone from Jennifer Capriati to Martina Hingis to Charlotte Church to Emma Watson via all points inbetween in the last twenty years with regards to this sort of thing. Hopefully Leveson recommendations will tone this down at the very least. Furthermore, I fail to see how this can even be classified as news.

5a. Remember Chris Jefferies? The chap who was falsely accused of the Joanna Yates murder a couple of years ago? The chap who was then lambasted as "weird" and "nutty" because of his appearance and therefore was, as far as the press was concerned was clearly caught bang to rights and guilty as hell, thus basically turning his entire life upside down and perhaps putting him in danger from members of the public wanting to mete out what they consider to be justice because they believe what's been said? He's did an interview in The Guardian where he says that although he has received compensation he hasn't had so much as a letter of apology from any newspaper editor or journalist.

5b. Remember Lord McAlpine? The chap who was falsely accused of being a paedophile on Newsnight last month? The chap who was mistakenly identified by a victim as being responsible for quite horrible things, and therefore was, as far as the BBC and admittedly half of Twitter was concerned, was clearly clearly caught bang to rights and guilty as hell, thus basically turning his entire life upside down and perhaps putting him in danger from members of the public wanting to mete out what they consider to be justice because they believe what's been said? He understandably complained about what he had been through, received compensation from both the BBC and ITV, and consequently, the Director General had to resign after apologising profusely, and several newspapers are basically demanding that more heads should roll (again, several of which like Chris Patten have also apologised), and further sanctions placed on the BBC for false accusations being aired.

Nope. No difference there. At all. Anyone who says there is obviously want the press controlled like it was in the Stalinist era Soviet Union. So there.

6. If the recommendations are rejected, then what the hell was the point? The costs involved must be high, and it must be said that from what I've seen from a number of readers comments across the spectrum of newspapers, from The Independent to The Mail, these complaints that the press have are happily, not being bought by the public at large - the words "sour grapes" are abounding in quite a few comments.

Quite aside from anything else, the political fall out will be quite spectacular. Several Conservative ministers are already saying that the report should be rejected, but of course this is just so they can count on support from the press come election time. And I have no doubt that if this was five years ago, and Labour were in power, they'd be taking the same attitude. If nothing else, politicians like to save their own worthless hides.

Thursday could be an intriguing day. Expect several anti-Leveson stories in the press - interesting to note that the Murdoch papers to be fair seem to be adopting a more conciliatory tone, Private Eye reporting that as they are aware they are likely to get a bit of a kicking in the report, they're trying to mitigate as much as possible. Also likely to come in for a thorough shoeing is the editor of The Mail, Paul Dacre, who has responded by taking his paper to DEFCON 1 and printing an ELEVEN page "investigation" last weekend about somebody who has a small link to the Leveson team who nobody has heard of and consequently calling his suitability into question. Although they do get bonus points for the use of the phrase "Quasi-Masonic Nexus" which sounds like the title of a Rick Wakeman album.

I can only describe it as akin to the final scene of Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, where hopelessly outnumbered, and in an absolute no win situation, Redford and Newman run out into a hail of gunfire from the Bolivian army, shooting their own guns as they go.

As I recall, that didn't end to well. Whether it will for Dacre and the rest of the British press, remains to be seen.

Aye Aye, That's Your Lot!

"English as tuppence, changing yet changeless as canal water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured and effete, bold flag-bearer, lotus-fed Miss Havishambling opsimath and eremite, feudal still, reactionary Rawlinson End.”

Sorry, but I've got to let off steam here. I'm a BIG supporter of the BBC - I waxed lyrical over the summer here about their simply magnificent Olympics coverage -  the prospect of it not existing and instead us having to make do with ITV clones fills me with dread. But they've really scored an own goal here over the Candyman. Danny Baker for those of you unaware, has just had his BBC London show axed, despite it winning numerous awards, and the man himself about to be inducted in the Radio Hall Of Fame.

I’ve been a big Baker fan for the last twenty plus years, and class him as probably our best radio broadcaster since the death of John Peel. To my mind, the only other radio broadcasters who come close to interacting with his audience and knowing what they want as well as him are probably Messrs Evans, Moyles, Wogan and Radcliffe, but Baker is of a different order.

 I could sit here and say that I read his stuff in the NME, but if you want the truth of the matter, my first exposure to him was via the early issues of Empire, the movie magazine in about 1989. He had a column for a few issues, and it was well written, knowledgeable, and most importantly funny.

In the intervening years, I’ve followed his career, through a myriad of radio stations, and of course that brief period circa 1994 when the BBC tried to turn him into David Letterman with a late night chat show, which, to coin a phrase said to the man himself by Max Wall, “died like a louse in a Russian’s beard”. The Radio Five Live and Talk Radio phone in shows with Danny Kelly were absolute genius, even to those who didn’t like football - Gordon from Scotland, who regailed the nation with tales of how his father made him a wooden bow tie to take with him when he went to watch (I think) Dundee United which was about 10 feet across; the carpenter who, with his mate, went round several grounds claiming that they were scouts from the Belgian club Standard Liege and were treated like visiting royalty; the exploits of Joanne the barmaid from an unnamed club in the Midlands (who eventually we all worked out was Leicester) who was, ahem, enjoying the company of several players and managers both past and present; and of course, the feigned ignorance of the score when Ipswich beat Norwich 5-0 back in 1998. Admittedly I may be a bit biased when it comes to that last one.

After that all ended in tears, he pitched up at Virgin Radio for a while, and whilst all this was going on, was doing most of the writing for TFI Friday during it’s probably most popular period of 1997-99.

Eventually in about 2002, he headed back to the BBC, and started hosting the breakfast show on BBC London, moving to the 3-5 slot some years later where he’s been ever since apart from having a year or so off after being diagnosed with cancer, which happily, he seems to have beaten. There was a brief flirtation with cyberspace in 2007 when The All Day Breakfast Show series of pod casts were launched, and clearly this was no two bit operation when on one of the first shows, Peter Kay, who at that point was at the zenith of his powers, pitched up. But that all came crashing down by the end of that year as Wippit, the company that provided the service, failed to keep their word, and after eight months of technical hitches downloading, and a grand total of zero pence being paid to Baker for his work, it was all over.

Now, I know I’m writing this in Norwich. And Norwich is 115 miles away from London, and no matter how far I lean out the window with an aerial, I’m not going to be able to pick BBC London up from here. I have to make do with Radio Norfolk, which to be fair, does what it’s supposed to, provide a local service. And I have to say I do enjoy listening to Treasure Quest (think Anneka Rice’s Treasure Hunt, but with a 4x4 instead of a helicopter, and a twenty square mile area of Norfolk instead of a whole region). But thanks to the wonders of the interweb, I’ve been able to obtain hundreds of hours of these shows. And they’re copper bottomed, pure spun gold . And I know I’m not alone in doing that.

Most shows over the last few years would begin with a slightly amended rendering of the quote at the top of the page, taken from Vivian Stanshall’s House at Rawlinson End. If a disc jockey starts his show by quoting a relatively obscure pop star from the 60’s who was dismissed in some quarters as a novelty act, you know you’re not going to be spending the next couple of hours listening to someone saying things like “I was out last night at the One Direction gig, it was brilliant.” The various stories that have come out over the years - feeling responsible for the death of Bob Marley, being notified of Marc Bolan’s death by his father (“Gorn! Dead! Planted!”), balancing a foam ceiling tile atop his head just as his mother walks into his bedroom amongst others - are clearly not your run of the mill stuff.

And then you have those who have joined him providing this service, the aforementioned Danny Kelly and Allis Moss in years gone by, to the top notch triumvirate these days of Tennessee’s own Baylen Leonard, former New Jersey resident and Mayor of Camden Amy Lamé, and the indescribable David Kuo (especially when he reads listeners emails), who all add to the whole shebang quite marvellously.

In a way, you could argue that until this morning, things were going quite well - the cancer (which, by horrible coincidence he announced to the world two years ago to the very day), seems to have gone, the first volume of his autobiography has just been released, and as said above, he was about to be honoured with a place in the Radio Hall of Fame.

And then earlier via Twitter, clearly fuming, he revealed that the axe had fallen.

It was assumed that this was as a result of cuts in the BBC which have been well publicised, but apparently it isn‘t. "We’re refreshing the schedule" was the explanation, and a more weaselly excuse you are unlikely to hear. I’m sorry but if you want to hear Olly Murs or Take That four times in an hour, then listen to Capital or Heart, because those stations are set up specifically to cater for that need. Yes, it is a local station, and the remit of local stations is to inform if anything happens locally, then this is done. There are regular travel, weather and news bulletins throughout the two hour show, and the main Drivetime news show follows directly afterwards. If anything major was to occur, then obviously they make way, and this has happened in the past.

The whole idea of the BBC is that it is able to broadcast things that those in the commercial sector do not have the cojones to do as they are ratings and financially driven. That's why things like 6 Music and BBC4 and the Asian Network exist. That’s why, even on BBC1, shows that even are aimed at a family audience but yet still have enough depth in the storyline to make you think (eg Doctor Who since it’s return) wouldn’t last five minutes on ITV which is all about getting you to gawp mindlessly at the screen most of the time, and let’s face it, we all do it at some point.

And yet when you have someone who is willing to go beyond the norm, to do something different, not to just sit there and spout crap about which Z-list nonentity is in the papers with their love life or just parrot whatever corporate bull that is fed to them, without a single, SINGLE feeling of individuality, joy, or creativity, what happens? What always happens, instead of the powers that be celebrating that individuality, they get shown the door, and some faceless bland dimwit gets parachuted in.

Though he wasn't my cup of tea, someone elsewhere has just mentioned Chris Moyles, and to a certain extent that's a good comparison - he wanted to do his own thing, something original, something away from the norm and over the years got grief from the suits at Radio 1. And now he's gone, and from what I understand, his replacement isn't tearing up any trees to say the least - going further back, you could mention Chris Morris, and even Kenny Everett. Admittedly Mark Radcliffe's stint on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show didn't work out, but that was more a case of the style of show not being suited to that time of day, and nowadays, his show with Stuart Maconie on 6 Music is a joy to behold.

So, what now for Baker? Suffice to say his exit from his show today was quite spectacular, and if it’s still on iPlayer when you read this, I heartily recommend you listen to it. Problem is, bridges were burnt quite comprehensively during the show - think DLT’s “Changes have been made here which go against my principles” rant turned up to 11. It was the radio equivalent of that episode of The Simpsons where Homer resigns from the nuclear plant and as he leaves decides to play Mr Burns’ head like a bongo (“I should be resisting this, but I’m paralysed with rage”) and throws him overboard before literally burning the bridge leading to the plant. Somehow, I can’t quite see him pitching up at that station again under the current regime.

His show on Radio Five Live apparently is still in place, but to be honest, I can’t see him doing it after today’s events, or indeed anywhere within the BBC until things calm down. In the commercial sector, it’s debateable where he goes - he could go and join Danny Kelly at TalkSport, but I feel that as everything from the weather forecast to the preview of a football match which is taking place in four days time is absolutely coated with sponsorship messages, it would again go against what he stands for in as such he is forced to toe a corporate line.

Absolute Radio was a possibility that crossed my mind, but the thing about the Baker shows is that he has free reign over his play lists, and seeing as Frank Skinner has apparently been heard bemoaning the fact on air that he only gets one free choice of song per hour on his show would seem to indicate that this wouldn’t be a good idea either.

I personally feel his best bet might be to try pod casting again. Despite the Wippit debacle, the ADBS was quite the success, and you only have to look over the Atlantic to see the wide range of people who in effect broadcast a radio show via this medium - amongst the most popular are people like Adam Corrolla, Joe Rogan, Doug Benson and Marc Marron - all of which produce shows that are often two or three hours in length - and they can basically do what the hell they like - but of course the problem is, as always financing such a thing.

In closing, I hope it’s not too long till Danny Baker is back on our radios - his spiritual home would seem to be either Radio 2 or 6 Music, but I think it’ll be a while, if ever, for him to turn up on either network. If you haven’t actually heard much of his stuff, trot along to www.internettreehouse.co.uk - you will find an absolute wealth of archived material there.

And then when you’ve done that, reflect on the muddle the BBC have got themselves into over a far more serious story that is big news at the moment and which need not detain us here, and ask yourselves, what on earth is going on?